The Mahatma would be delighted

Gandhiji would be in splits watching the state of our country from a parallel universe right now (according to LOST, of course). Come on, what have we not done to make him proud? As he rests, 63 years after he was shot dead by a fanatic this very day, nursing those point-blank bullet shots (perhaps he would have had a better chance of survival today, given how Rep. Giffords survived her perilous outing in Tucson), Gandhiji would be checking his list of tasks he envisioned for our country.

Let's see, we are so strong now, all because of our non-violence. I mean we didn't even launch an offensive at Pakistan after the role of its bona fide citizens in the 26/11 attacks has been proven beyond doubt. That's how you pay homage to the father of the nation! And yeah, China is playing Godfather again, replacing the old guard in the region. We have done what Gandhiji would have done. We are 'in discussions' with China. We are begging for its mercy and compassion, in other words. What is the need of advanced weaponry in a nation founded on the principles of non-violence? So we will happily continue with our fleet of ageing aircrafts and obsolete artillery. Of course, we will purchase weapons, but only when our leaders are well-paid for those deals. You might as well include the purchase of coffins in these transactions.

How about the social fabric of our nation? It is solid. Everybody is happy, with reservation at its peak to 'uplift' the down-trodden. Never mind that the poorest person in a far off village is still poor, and the social schemes are being siphoned off for the good of our bureaucrats and politicians. But on paper, we are happy and developing at an alarming pace.

Remember, Gandhiji politely presented his other chin after he was slapped in SA. Well, these days the slap has been upgraded to a bullet. But we are still following the lead of the mahatma. Glad that we have made your proud. Can you just check if Bose has reached there yet, or is he still lost somewhere between Japan and Varanasi, depending on whose version of the story you believe in.