IPL 2014

We draw great inspiration from the things we see around us, and nothing has inspired me more since the last 2 days than the hoopla surrounding the IPL 4 player auction. Already ahead of the NBA in terms of market valuation, one can only wonder how these big corporates (and a few film actors well past their heydays) can turn a common man into an overnight millionaire. Gambhir ji must be over the moon, his son just became the most valued cricketer in the world in one shot (not counting endorsement deals, but even then it would be very close). Pathan & sons are among the wealthiest families in Gujarat at the moment, with both brothers being bid for a cumulative figure of $ 4 million.

It made me think, and think hard! What if Indian parliamentary system becomes a competitive Indian politics league, with MPs being bid for by these corporates. Let's see what might happen in a hypothetical scenario:

"Hello ladies and gentleman, I would like to welcome you the the first ever, brazen and transparent election process in the history of India, the MP auction for the IPL. Let the bidding begin"!

"First up on the block is Manmohan Singh. A wise economist, (but a weak) prime minister, adept at complying with the worst scenarios at the command of the higher authority."

Ambanis have bid $ 3 million for him. They think he'll get them out of their numerous legal tangles and open up the retail sector for them. Preity Zinta steps in. She believes he can rekindle her failing career and sign a deal with Time Warner to set up studios in India. $ 4 million! Wait, the Saharas want a share of the pie. Only he can save them from the wrath of Mayawati (should have thought harder before considering Amar Singh's friend request). Sold for $ 5 million!

"Next up is Lal Krishna Advani. A dreamer who is well past his prime, and is no longer fit for the role of team captain that he covets."

Silence all around! Shilpa Shetty bids $ 100,000. At least he'll watch her movies and praise her work, just like he did Khelen hum jee jan say. Sold!

"Next up is Rahul Gandhi. An obedient son and a charming politician. The perfect momma's boy. Will display sparks of massive talent in between period of continuous defeats."

A commotion ensues. Everybody wants Rahul Gandhi. Alas, we forgot to mention. Sonia Gandhi is the league commissioner. CSk step in and Dhoni lures Rahul away with promises of late-night bike rides and invitations to John Abraham's private bash with Bipasha Basu. Sold for an undisclosed fee!

"Next up is Varun Gandhi. Quite the opposite of his brother, though he does have a full head of hair and more authority in his voice than a squeaking little girl."

KKR want him. SRK plans to study Varun for his next movie- My name is Gandhi. Sold for $ 2 million.

"What do we have here. Somebody threw a chit with Jagan Reddy's name on it. Who wants to bid for him?"

DC are the first one to raise their hand. They are short on budget with low sales, and Jagan can finance the whole team by himself. Sold for $ 1 million.

"Next up is Shivraj Patil. Apt at doing nothing apart from changing clothes rapidly in situations of national emergency."

What do we have here? Teams offering to buy him for their rivals. Well, as they say, if you can't find a weakness in your opponent, put some of it in there. Sold to Kochi for $ 2 million. Tharoor tweets:"Gr8 going Kochi. Will now display cattle class cricket as well"

"Next up is A. Raja. Wait we have an urgent phone call".........."Ladies and gentleman, Raja has offered to buy the entire league for any amount quoted by you!"

SOLD!

PS: Do post if any more names spring to your mind!

The road ahead

Hello,

It has been a while since I blogged. Mostly because it has been a busy time with last year shenanigans, and also because my department has not moved ahead with time. Today marks a special day, not because it is Techfest Day 2 or because I finally saw 'No one killed Jessica', but because I finally heard from a man I have disliked for a while now- Kapil Sibal. Before I get to that, let me just put the word out that the new swanky convention center makes you feel special as soon as you enter. Now if only they maintain it well and not let it rot like the new hostels!

Sibal gave a very good talk on how India needs to radically transform itself in the next quarter of a century in order to truly grow, and how education, knowledge and innovation are the basis of this change. Though Sibal was all over the news recently for questioning the charges of corruption being thrown on the telecom ministry and for pulling the CAG into the mud, his Harvard education shows in the way he can pinpoint his achievements and make you wonder at what could have been if this guy was put in charge of affairs much earlier.

It is very true, India needs to step up in terms of the number of children finishing school and moving on to higher education. The Right to Education act, 2009, (with all its pending expenditure woes) is a bold and definitive step in this direction, and deserves a mention even though nothing is on the ground yet. It is also true that we need to speed up our educational infrastructure development because as the number of students clamoring for a seat in higher educational institution grows, so should the number of institutes providing such education. Otherwise there is simply no point in making the 12th board exams optional and then making the poor hapless student slug it out for a seat in a college.

Perhaps the most important the GOI is taking (or at least plans to take in the near future) is investing in innovation at the institutes of national importance. Some sectors pointed out by Mr. Sibal, like healthcare and energy, require massive amount of human innovation capital, which surprisingly is available in surplus in our country. The industry needs to step up its participation in such efforts, but would they like to, given that most of our institutes still resort to red-tapism and the silos becomes too much to tackle for a budding entrepreneur? What is being taught is often miles away from what is required at the moment, and until the gap is nullified, I don't see why the industry would like to invest in research at IITs. Rather than promoting free-spirited innovation, we are bogged down by impressions on old minds and the so-called right school of thought. Of course, the students share some of the blame, but if some of the brightest minds in the country opt to choose banking over designing better products, the need to introspect lies elsewhere.

Our 'chillar' vs Foreign ka 'chillar'

Chillar aka loose change has acquired gigantic social implications in a very short time in India. You can easily berate somebody for not paying up for random treats and occasional trips by calling him a chillar. Not to forget, the very fact of being called a chillar makes you both frustrated and momentarily generous at the same time.

This blog is however, not about some random philosophical gibberish. I have had enough of philo this semester in a bogus HSS course. It is about how we perceive loose change in India and how it is becoming a rarity in these times. Move away from the metros, and you'll be hard-pressed to find people willing to accept change for buying stuff at a local store. Don't agree? Try paying for your next packet of Maggi at home with one rupee coins. Of course, there is a greater probability that you might not find that amount of change. You see, as the economy blossomed, India soon forgave its change and moved to denominations of 500s and 1000s. As a result, what was once adequate to buy you a samosa at the local sweatshop will now be turned down even by beggars. I seriously can't remember the last time I saw a 50p coin in circulation, leave alone its poorer brother, the 25p!

Take an auto, and the driver will make pitiful faces when asked for the remainder one rupee he owes you. Go to a stationary shop, and he'll ask you for change for the odd refill you might buy after a span of 6-8 months. It is as if the Holy powers of currency descended from heaven and banished all forms of metal currency lower than 5 bucks to obscurity hell. The uglier part of this is that you are being unfairly robbed of your right to pay in change or obtain change in turn. Giving a beggar near Siddhivinayak a one rupee coin shouldn't warrant ugly glances from an upmarket gentleman who made him richer by Rs 5. There is nothing wrong in keeping change people, our economy was in fatc for a very long time under the shadow of these smaller cousins of the rupee, with a movie ticket costing 80p (as my father tells me). Compare this to any developed country, and you'll find people willing to accept and pay up in change. In fact, the amount of coins I brought back from my last trip to the states made my parents and relatives wonder if these were still in circulation or not (they were quite a few). Maybe it says something about the mentality of the developed world, and maybe we should strive to share some of it.

Till then,

My dear one rupee coin, I have cherished you since my childhood. But now I have a fancier golden 5 rupee coin in my hands, and you might as well have to go into my piggybank for good!

Have power, will take a bribe!

The defence minister A.K. Antony has finally taken some desperately needed corrective measures in the Sukna land scam, which has once again put the great institution of Indian defence force to shame.While preliminary investigation by sources in the army have all but indicted Lt. Gen. A. Prakash as the accused in this highly controversial scam, the larger question remains: Did he do it alone or was teh entire higher command in the loop on this?

Let's face it, the selling of land adjacent to a critical military establishment in West Bengal which had earlier being declared to be of valuable defence interest has raised an eyebrow of quite a few who are a part of the larger social revolution dedicated to ensuring accountability from the higher-ups in our bureaucracy. While most of the criminal cases against army officers pertain to a human rights violation, this is one of those rare cases where the interest of the nation has been put aside for personal and commercial gains. Further investigation will definitely unearth the illegal transactions which took place between Lt. gen. Prakash and his family friend, Mr. Agarwal. The defence ministry should press for exemplary punishment to Prakash and the co-accused if it wants the retain the integrity of our Army as an institution of honor and loyalty.

Gen. Kapoor has nowhere to hide now, since being advised by the defence minister to over-turn his decision is a blot of favoritism that will stay in his records forever. He should've taken stern action as soon as the matter came up to him, but personal equations played a big role in softening his stand against the accused Lt. gen. Prakash. This calls for proactive measures on the part of the defence ministry to set up legal bodies where citizens can challenge such decisions as the one taken by Gen. Kapoor. It is necessary that the defence forces should be kept out of the purview of civillian law to ensure hassle-free functioning, but it cannot come at the cost of compromise with the respect that the defence forces command in general public. Corruption has raised its ugly head in the prestigious institution, and it should be killed right now if the government wants to maintain its dignity!

Power drunk nation

While it is regretful that a publicly-elected legislator is man-handled inside the premises of the democratic facility of India, the legislative assembly due to taking his oath in the national language, a more shocking incident which came to light on the same day was the misuse of power by a wealthy accused serving a life imprisonment term in a murder case. Mr. A was convicted after a long-drawn legal battle which saw so much drama befitting a Bollywood blockbuster (actually elements of it were included in a popular blockbuster Rang De Basanti while several filmmakers have expressed their interest in bringing the victim's plight on the silver screen). Coming from a wealthy politician's family known for its clout over the politics of our capital, New Delhi, the victim and co-accused did whatever was possible in order to wash of the conviction during the trial stage, including threatening witnesses to tampering evidence. Finally after vehement public protests and interference by the court, he was brought to the book and was deservedly punished for one of the heinous crimes ever committed in the history of India, the murder of a super model in a posh Delhi hotel.

Cut to 2009, the victim pledges his presence to tend to his ailing mother and support the family business, and a committee consisting of the police machinery and representatives of the state government grants him parole for a month, which is later extended by the chief minster's permission for another 30 days. While the reason given was grave health problems to the convicts mother, the victim was seen drowning his sorrow and tension in a night club in Delhi. Well, he was probably concerned about his mother's health and was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. So his friends decide to throw him a late-night party, which he enjoys with full vigor comes out rejuvenated to face his mother's shortcomings. By God's grace, the mother is healed within a span of 24 hours and is healthy and cheerful enough to hold a press conference announcing the details of the national under-19 women's cricket tournament. What a miracle and what a show of our progressive society! Go girl power....

Wait, there is flaw in this whole argument. Do miracles really happen? Does the police fail to see an obvious fact blinded by the political machinery which yield it? NO and YES. Sadly, this is indeed the state of our country 52 years post-independence. One thing stands above every citizen's right, the politics which runs this country and is questionably not doing a very good job with it. While parole is indeed a right of every convict, why is it so that it is often granted to the politically accessible and not those who indeed repent their past deeds? Possibly what good behaviour can be expected by a politician's son who mercilessly hot a girl from point-blank range for not serving him alcohol, used his father's coterie in destroying serious evidence and even paid off the witnesses to turn hostile? Our law is often said to be blind, but I believe it is also dumb! Dumb to the extent that it fails to see any common-sense and is run by texts which often do not mirror the reality.
God save our country, at least he should save me and you.

Peace!

The Red Venom!

To all those who support naxalism:

1. An economically backward area in West Bengal, Lalgarh was declared to be free of Indian government's control for a week or so. All essential supplies were cut-off, people were tortured if they tried to escape and all kinds of relief efforts on part of the state government were prevented by the maoists. Who gave an organization the right to seize power and make the lives of others miserable, when they are clearly not in a position to feed those people?

2. It has long been speculated that these naxalites serve as agents for the Chinese secret service? It has also been reported that the ultimate aim is to surrender the captured areas to China and set up a grave challenge to India's existence. Why should the government be soft on these traitors?

3. Any activity that hampers the growth of a human being mentally and physically in considered unlawful by the Indian constitution. Since the naxalite attacks result in blockades leading to poor health facilities and zero employment opportunities, why should these anti-Indians be protected from the Indian penal code?

-A citizen of India!

The curiously shocking case of Sushil Kumar

"Sushil Kumar who?", " I think I have heard his name?", " Is he a politician?", etc. This is the first reaction of a majority of the common man upon hearing this name. For your information, he is an ace Indian freestyle wrestler who won a Bronze medal in 66-kg category at the Beijing Olympic games and formed the trio of individual medalists at the Olympics for the first time in Indian sport history. Of course you know the other two very well, Abhinav Bindra ( Gold, 10 m air rifle) and Vijender Singh ( Bronze, boxing). But it seems as if he has all but been erased from common memory. While Bindra secured numerous awards and sponsors post-Beijing for his historic feat ( Mittal trust scholarship, Samsung endorsement), Vijender is currently a well-featured celebrity on page 3 and television alike. Not only that, he has recently signed a Rs. 7 crore contract with Percept sports. What about Sushil? A Rs. 50 lakh award from the Delhi govt., few monetary awards from other such bodies and recently the Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna. He has no lucrative sponsors, still travels on SAI money and works as a Chief ticket inspector for the Indian Railways. I remember Prahlad Kakkar saying in a post-Beijing interview that Vijender has the maximum chance of staying in public memory because of his rags-to-riches story and good looks, while Abhinav (son of a wealthy industrialist) is more of a gentleman who lives in recluse and comes out and shines on the big stage. Sushil has a difficult road ahead because he lacks the 'endorsement' looks and plies his trade in Kushti, a mainstay of Indian sport which has been replaced by Cricket mania in the last 100 years. No one wants their son to become a pehelwaan, hell, few kids are tough these days in order to qualify for a training in the legendary akhadas. Everybody sees them in the light of a few bollywood movies like Khosla Ka Ghosla which portray them as goons who can use their muscle to do your job. Wrestling at a time was a highly respected and practised sport in our country and still is in some arts of the country. It accomplishes two important tasks at the same time, physical workout and adrenaline rush which one expects while playing a sport. Sadly though, the sport has been in a terribly neglected state for the last 50 years. Wrestlers in India still wrestle on mud and rely on the Guru Hanuman regime to success, while their counter-parts in Kazakhistan and Greece have the modern technology at their beck and call. No wonder it took 50 odd years for Sushil to replicate the feat of Kashaba Jadhav. The sad part is, Jadhav died as a broken farmer in large debt, and one can only pray that Sushil gets the recognition he deserves which is necessary to carry on the legacy of Kushti.